


Surprise Frostiron

by orphan_account



Series: Frostiron and Stuff [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Amora's plans get ruined because she tried to interrupt Loki's sexytimes, Confusion, Crack, M/M, Multiple Universes, implied sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-23
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-02 10:46:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1055870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jötun Loki suddenly shows up and starts snogging Tony. Wait, what?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even...what are you doing brain.. Ugh 
> 
> I hope it at least makes you smile

It was a day after a battle with some doom-bots, with the team still feeling ache-y and exhausted that they slumped down on the penthouse sofas and had Jarvis order food of some kind while Tony's bots got them tea and coffees. They were all too tired to think much and it honestly looked like Bruce was so out of it that he wouldn't be able to make it back to his floor after dinner. 

It was strange then to here an "Oh, darling, what happened?" In a very British accent and to see everyone suddenly surrounded by a golden glow. They all felt instantly revitalised and all their cuts and bruises were gone. 

That wasn't the strangest thing though. No, that award would go to the fact that a very blue, very friendly Loki quickly made his way over to Tony and started to practically devour his mouth.  
The rest of the team, utterly at loss of what to do and quite profoundly confused took a moment before deciding that getting their weapons ready might be a good idea. 

Tony, for his part may have been the slowest to react. At first the kiss a shocked him, rendering him rigid and frankly, terrified. But as it went on, he couldn't help but start to react, to lean into Loki a little and dear god they had been right in nick-naming him Silvertongue. Suddenly he remembered:  
Loki =supervillan who attacked New York.  
Supervillan =evil.  
Evil=no kissy. 

 

Pushing the trickster god off of him, the billionaire scrambled back, alert, aroused and not quite sure wether he was dreaming again or not. 

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"  
Was it just Tony or did that sound like genuine hurt in Loki's voice?  
"What the fuck are you doing here Loki?" He spat, the trickster now looking more confused than they had just been. Loki looked around, trying to gouge what was wrong from the others face's but they didn't hold the answers he had hoped for. 

Their weapons were all trained on him and they were practically radiating hatred.  
"I don't understand, I was only gone a few days...why are you all looking at me as though you want to skin me alive?" Something was definitely not right, Loki looked close to tears and crying was not something that the trickster they knew would ever do in front of them. 

Just at that moment another Loki appeared, this time he looked more like the Loki they all knew, with pale white skin, an angry leer and covered in green and leather armour.  
"I felt my magic in this tower yet I cast no spell, what is going on." The pale Loki growled.  
"Oh, thank the Norns!" Sighed blue Loki, drawing pale Loki's attention.  
"Who are you?" Pale Loki demanded, blue Loki simply laughed and relived laugh, a huge smile on his face.  
"I'm you from a different universe, took the wrong path home as I can see. Gods I was really worried for a moment there. Never mind, I'll be going now, don't mind me."  
"But..but you kissed me!?" Tony stuttered still quite confused.  
"Yes, darling. You see where I come from we are wed with two lovely children."  
"WHAT?!" It was pale Loki who was confuse now.  
But his question was never answered because the other Loki had disappeared, suddenly and with no more explanation. 

From that day on, Loki and Tony would always look at each other a little differently. A little more appreciative of the other's mind, and body and god Loki had a sexy voice, Tony's eyes were such a deep brown, Loki's skin looked almost edible, Tony's arms were wonderfully toned... 

"Sir, I'm sorry to inform you that Amora has unleashed a hoard of giant white rabbits who are currently running free on a rampage through the streets."  
"I'm a little busy at the moment, Jarv'."  
"Don't you dare stop- ahha" Loki growled, his arm stretching out and glowing slightly.  
"Sir, the Avengers and SHIELD are both demanding your help immedia- never mind. The rabbits are gone and Amora is subdued. You may continue as planned, Sir."


	2. The Boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone left a comment on the previous chapter asking for more and this idea just popped into my head so here you go Maizy.

Agent Barton had seen his fair share of strange things in his time as an Avenger, one of the most recent having been the blue Loki who had apparently taken a wrong turn at an intersection and ended up in the wrong universe. This, however, took the cake. 

 

Once again, Doctor Doom had decided to try and take over Manhattan with an army of robots that all looked just like him, and people said Tony had an ego the size of the sun. Anyway, with the rest of the team creating a perimeter to contain the bots and destroy them before they could continue their own destruction, he was left with the charge of getting the civilians in said perimeter out. 

There was a man stuck in an overturned car, his leg caught between the crumpled door and the dashboard, he was in pain and panicking, making it extremely difficult to help but Clint was trying his best nonetheless. Finally he was able to manage some leverage, allowing for the man to crawl his way out, helping him stand, Clint looked around trying to see if he could catch someone to help the guy limp to safety when a flash caught his attention. 

In the middle of a battle one would expect there to be flashes and explosions, what was strange about this on was that two children, both boys around the age of 4-5, stumbled out, looking scared and lost. What was even more strange was the recognition that flashed across their faces when they saw him, running over and shouting for their ‘Uncle Clint’.

Or at least that is what he thinks they where shouting considering the noise of the battle and the fact that the kids looked close to sobbing so what came out sounded more like “Unclint” than anything. 

Despite his utter confusion, Clint’s instincts didn’t let him stop and ask what exactly it was they meant, instead he focused on trying to find safety, for them and the man still heaving leaning on him. That safety came under the guise of a subway station not too far from where they stood, even better, there where SHIELD agents inside helping those who where hurt and doing crowd control to try and prevent further injury and panic. 

Grabbing one of the agents, he handed over the children, quite literally as they didn't seem to want to let go of his leg.   
“Don’t worry, this nice lady is going to keep you safe and help you find your parents, ok?” He tried to look reassuring as he ruffled the smaller one’s hair and made a quick exit to find the Avengers and re-group. 

The battle waged on for another hour or so, Clint had almost completely forgotten about the kids by the end, exhausted and just wanting a nice hot bubblebath to soak in once he was done with the debriefing. Unfortunately that was when a startled agent came running over to him, it was the woman from the subway station. 

“Agent Barton, I’m terribly sorry but those boys, the ones who called you their uncle? They got away, they where right there one moment and then they just vanished. I’ve been canvasing the area but they seem to have disappeared. I-” She looked so flustered and nervous that Clint couldn’t help but take pity on her, ordering a small team of other clean-up agents to help her in her search for the kids while he went to the debrief. 

What he hadn’t counted on was the fact the the boys in question where not all that far away, simply hiding from the agent as she re-began her search for them, waiting for Clint to turn his back so that they could follow him instead, though their Uncle did seem to be acting strange, as though he didn’t recognise them. 

When the coast was clear the boys ran out, the smaller one managed to jump off one of the nearby decapitated bots and land perfectly on the archer’s back, wrapping his arms around Clint’s neck and giggling into his ear. Just as the archer was about to turn back and hand them over again, the other Avengers came into sight, leading the boys to gasp and let go of him, instead running staring for Iron Man screaming Daddy as they went. 

Tony stood petrified as the boys climbed up his armour expertly, as though having done so a million times before, to settle in his arms. The others stood just as shocked, not entirely sure what to do, until they where geared into action by Tony’s frightened little squeal. 

“What is happening? Why do I have children clinging to me? Help?” The poor billionaire looked traumatised. 

Unfortunately that didn't seem to help the situation as the boys then burst into tears, obviously upset by the fact that their supposed father didn’t recognise them. Steve immediately stepped forward, ready to help in any situation, he wrapped his arms around on of the boys and tried to pry him off of their stunned engineer. The operative word there being ‘try’. 

Despite their distress at not being recognised the boys where adamant that they not be separated from ‘daddy’ crying hard when any of the others touched them and clinging to the metal suit with more strength than should be possible for children their size. 

Still not entirely sure about what to do in this situation, Natasha decided it would be best to deal with this at the tower rather than out in broad daylight. 

Stepping into the Quinjet, Tony sits in one of the seats towards the back away from the rest of the group as the boys settle down and their crying becomes the occasional sniffle. It would appear that the two of them where just as exhausted by the battle as the one who had fought it, falling asleep easily once they where in the air. 

Tony had to be very careful not tot wake them once they had landed, seeing as no on wanted an armful of screeching children again. He laid the boys down gently on the couches in his penthouse, taking care not to jostle them awake, though it was hard to pry their tiny hands off of his armour. Seriously how where these kids so strong?

Once they where safely down, he made his way down to the communal floor where the others had gathered fro debriefing with Fury. He had barely made it into the room to greet the giant projection of a Furious (ha) Fury demanding to know why they weren't debriefing on the helicarrier when a green flash appeared and Tony had a sinking feeling he was going to be in even more trouble now. 

Loki was enraged, you could practically see the fumes coming off of him. He grabbed the engineer by the neck, and oh how poetic it was. Though Tony was not too pleased by the idea of revisiting their first encounter. 

“You dare lie to me, you snivelling half-wit?” he sneered, and it wasn't one of the sexy sneers either. 

The Avengers, sans Tony, where on high alert, peering up to attack the trickster god. Tony himself was trying to respond, only finding it difficult when his windpipe was being crushed. 

“You think you can just use me and cast me aside like the rest of them?” 

At this the trickster threw the man against the wall, now that their teammate was out of his clutches the others attacked, however Loki paid them no mind, pulling up a barrier between them and his target, unwilling to let them interrupt his revenge. 

“I didn’t use you, Lokes,” the man managed to choke out as the god came bearing down upon him, “What-”  
“Do not pretend ignorance, I saw. I saw them Anthony.” Loki sounded more broken than angry at this point, leading the Avengers to momentarily stop their pounding on the energy shield to actually listen to what was going on. 

“Saw what Loki? Talk to me for fucks sake!” Tony replied, looking all to relaxed with the angered god in his presence.   
“Your children.” Loki spat, “It was all over the news. I do not like being lied to Anthony.” Just as the god raised his arm for another attack, Tony pulled him in close, letting their foreheads touch and letting out a shaky laugh. 

“They’re not mine. Babe I dunno who they belong to but I've never seen them before in my life, I swear.” Tony leaned forward, brushing his lips against the gods. Loki’s arm falling and the tension in his shoulders disappeared. “I mean me, a father? Get your head out the sand, I couldn't survive two minutes on my own how m’I supposed to take care of two kids?”

Loki melted into Tony’s hug, still a little pumped on adrenalin and shaken by the almost-betrayal. Though the two of them had never labelled this thing the had going, which mostly constituted of sarcastic comments and wild sex, they where both quite invested in the semi-relationship, only holding back their emotions out of their fear that the other wasn’t as affected as they where. 

The two of them where pulled from their little moment by the hard cold voice of the Director.   
“Stark. You have got some explaining to do.” 

Loki took a step back and Tony sheepishly looked at his teammates, not sure how exactly he was supposed to explain how he had been sleeping wit the enemy for the past, oh maybe eight months, closer to a year.

Luckily for him, the elevator doors opened and the two boys that where at the root of this mess came bursting into the room. Once they spotted Tony and Loki they looked less panicked, running forward only this time it was Mommy they where shouting for. 

Loki looked suitably perplexed when the two clung to his legs and began whining about people acting weird and why was mommy pale, where they going to go out somewhere special together?

His surprise at the children caused him to loose concentration, allowing for the barrier he had been keeping up between himself and the Avengers to fall. Steve headed straight for Tony, pulling him aside and being to read him the riot act, while Thor was delighted that his brother and his shield brother where together. The two assassins stood stoic, while Bruce looked amused. 

“What’s so funny?” Clint asked.  
“Tony and Loki have a relationship so secret that they didn't even know about their own kids.” Bruce giggled, leading to a tiny grin forming on Natasha’s face, thought she would deny it later if anyone asked.

With all the noise building the kids where once again becoming distressed, especially now that it was clear even there own mother did not know who they where. Fate was kind, having perfect timing once again, as Jarvis announced the arrival of some unexpected guests.

“Sir, the Jotun Loki that accosted you last year has returned, and with him is what I assume to be his universe’s version on yourself.”   
Not thirty seconds later the two men where charging through the elevator doors, heading straight for the crying children and relieving this universe’s Tony and Loki from their failed attempts at hushing them. 

For a moment the two boys ceased their crying and snuggled up to their real parents, that soon changed when said parents held them at arms length and gave them a tongue lashing. Something about not playing with mommy’s spell books and using magic they had no knowledge of. 

The Blue Loki herded the children towards the elevator, throwing thank you behind him while the Alternate Tony came over to thank them properly.

“I’m so sorry for any panic they caused, and so grateful you took care of them. But hey, you know how they get.” he smiled fondly over at his family.

“Uuuuh, no. No idea, ha ha. No kids round here, nope.” Tony laughed off awkwardly. Tony two looked perplexed.   
“But you two are together right?” At then quick glances and no reply, he was given his answer. “Ahhh I see. Is it a boy, girl, or twins like us?” he asked looking at Loki’s stomach.

The pair looked astonished and began talking all at once.   
“Loki is not pregnant. That’s just nonsense, right?”  
“I’m not preg-” But Loki held back, hesitating. A confused frown marring his features. 

“Babe, you didn’t finish that. You mind finishing that sentence. Your not pregnant right? Just go ahead and say it, why aren’t you saying it? Oh dear god-” Tony didn't get to finish as the god in question blinked out of existence, leaving a terrified genius struggling with the idea that he may or may not become a father. 

The Alternate Tony simply gave a sympathetic smile and pat on the back before joining his family as they too blinked out of existence.

Tony was left panicking, dropping to the floor as he rethought his whole life imagining children in the picture while Bruce’s giggles got louder and louder.


End file.
